Regarding ‘Negative Influences’ - Uncover the Reasons Pessimistic Companions Are Good You Personally
I seek out advice from those regarding managing middle-aged struggles, such as deep inner questions, waning significance, developing a neck akin to a surrealist painting and a newfound passion for A Place in the Sun. Recently, I came across Jamie Oliver’s words about hitting fifty via a discussion: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Just be with lovely people. I’m avoiding negative people – ‘mood hoovers’ – and getting better at saying no.”
Initially, I wondered: isn’t this contradictory regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I know – it’s exactly the kind of thing a mood hoover would say, and that’s because I am one. However, among our group, we favor the term “energy drainer”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). If forced, I’d agree to “gloomy soft cover”.
Perhaps you’re one too. Are you less the life and soul of the party and more its accountant or undertaker? Does your thorough reply to casual greetings make people step back nervously? Do you greet “fun” activity suggestions with an expression that makes you look like you’ve swallowed a slug? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?
If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Despite a whole self-help-inspired trend urging people to get rid of friends who “drain” them, I’d argue we offer real value. I imagine a negative type would have voiced caution – or pulled a disapproving expression – when Jamie mentioned his children’s book idea featuring an Indigenous protagonist without proper consultation, potentially averting numerous issues, hurt, and anger. You don’t get that sort of service from “lovely people”.
